I read this morning, “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone” in Jean Houston’s The Wizard of Us.
I have been brought to the edge. Willingly? I’m not sure. But, I know it is time. My body out and out said so. How much clearer could it be when one cannot breathe and needs a 911 visit and day at ER.
“You are breathless, little one. It is time to take a breather.”
I’ve been here before…Exhaustion + Anxiety + Sleeplessness bringing on episodes of breath-less-ness.
My doctor prescribed pills. I tried them for several nights. They relaxed me but did not bring much needed sleep. I put them aside and resorted to my tried and true valerian tincture and slept like a baby.
A two-month medical leave of absence was also prescribed. The timing was perfect for the company for whom I have worked for over a decade as we mutually decided “retirement” for me…a new generation coming in to claim the department that I created. Yes, I had mixed emotions as I am in no way prepared financially for this. Wouldn’t you? But, I trust that this is in my highest good.
The first weeks were spent sleeping and reading at Pie Cottage…no energy even to walk. Cooking a big pot of soup on the woodstove that would last for days…and resting. That was enough.
Now, I am nearing the end of a two-week visit to dear friends in the Midwest who have received me, nourished me, loved me and given me the space just to be…asking nothing in return other than I be authentic in asking for what I need in this moment…and then making it happen. Bless them. Bless them for soothing teas, warm fires, cinnamon toast, and peace. I cherish this time.
Today is the first day of Winter and as I look out on the snowy landscape in front of me I can feel the sap beginning to stir deep within.
Yes, I am here…at the edge of my comfort zone.