Jerry
If you’ve been following my blog for a while you may remember that my step-dad Jerry took a bad tumble in late 2011 just after I returned from France.
I received word that he passed away early this morning.
He was ready.
My mom and Jerry married after both of them had been widowed. They had a brief but very happy 2.5 year marriage before she passed away in 1982. He outlived her by 30 years and during those years, he enjoyed a third very happy marriage. We kept in touch over the years. He was grandpa to Sara and Duncan. I am grateful to him for the many kindnesses he showed to me and my family through the ensuing years.
I remember his words to me on one of my last visits to see him, “I know there is something else out there. I’m ready.”
As he was my last remaining “relative” of my mom and dad’s generation, I asked him two years ago, if I might be able to ask him questions, now and then, about what he had learned in life.
He laughed and said, “Of course!”
So one day, I called him up and said, “Jerry, you’ve had three very happy marriages. What is your secret?”
He chuckled and then gave me these simple points:
- Have your own individual interests as well as some interests in common.
- Have your own friends and have friends in common.
- Speak kindly to one another and have respect for each other.
- And, never ever go to bed angry.
Thank you for everything, Jerry.
What a source of strength and inspiration to hear those words, “I am ready.” My father said something similar not too far in advance of his own unexpected passing. They have been balm to me when I feel chapped and raw. Hugs to you, dear Kate.
Thank you so much, Annelies. Today is also the 2nd anniversary of a very dear friend’s passing. I miss her deeply but know that she is with me and all who loved her as well. I am a better and wiser person for knowing them both. I am sorry for your loss. xo
Definitely a good stepdad. My condolences on your loss.
Thank you. Yes, he was. I was surprised at how difficult his passing was for me. The last of my parents generation, I guess. All aunts, uncles, parents gone. Then the winter set in and I kinda went “underground”. Now that it’s nearly spring I hope to feel a shift soon to feeling better.
Wonderful tribute to a good soul and a kind person who is still here making the world better, thanks to your words and photo and the place he surely has in other people’s memories as well. I loved reading this. I love his words: “I am ready.”
What a sweet tribute to your step-dad, Kate! Thinking of you
I’m glad you had a guy like him in your life. I’m sad for you loss, but I also I feel like knowing he was ready to go is a wonderful surety for those who miss him. And I like very very much that in your story here, when you quote him, he always starts speaking with a laugh or a chuckle. What a good way to be. xo
Thank you for these kind words, Jill. He was a great guy. I know wherever he is he’s smiling on all of us!
Big hugs to you, Kate. I remember you telling me about Jerry. I am so glad you had the experience of knowing him. xox
Kate, my condolences to the many friends and families who are mourning the loss of Jerry. Many people retreat within when they’ve lost the love of their lives, and yet this man saw he had great capacity for love and kept on loving. What a gift to others, he was, by just being himself. May Jerry rest in peace.
Thank you so much Jean. My own dad died when I was young, and although I was 26 when he married my mom, Jerry was the closest I ever had to a dad. It meant alot to me on my last visit that he told me how proud he was of me.
He sounds like a really cool guy. I’m so glad you kept in touch with him, Kate.
I’m glad I did, too, Diane. I smile remember him driving around Santa Barbara in his little orange VW station wagon.
He sounds like a wise man. Will celebrate his life in my actions today, as I know you will too, despite feeling the loss. Deep condolences.
I’ll be baking a pie in his honor tonight to give away tomorrow.
My condolences Kate, sounds like a lovely man, who touched your life in wonderful ways. To his memory and his ‘finding what else is out there.”
That he did. Thank you, Tom.
I am sorry for your loss, he sounded like a like one of the greats, That kind of a great man that you could learn a lot from.
He always said what he meant and meant what he said.
That was lovely Kate. A perfect obit!! Kate Jackson
Thank you, Kate. I always thought it quite amazing that your mom named you Kate and that your last name, Jackson, was my mom’s maiden name!
Sorry for your loss. Loved reading this and I loved his tips on Happy Marriages. Rest in Peace Jerry, off you go!
Brief as it was my mom and Jerry shared a very happy home.
He sounds like he was a treasure. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.
Cathy
Thank you Cathy. He was a solid as they come.