A Story
I want to tell you a story. One that happened to me over 35 years ago. That seems so long ago now, but yesterday it was as fresh as if it had happened just a moment ago…and in a way it did.
One Friday afternoon I got in my yellow VW bug and started out to pick up my daughter from the pre-school program she went to twice a week. I lived in West Seattle at the time and the program was up in the Interbay area. It was a good piece of a drive and I always tried to avoid the rush hour traffic both coming and going, as even back in the early 1980’s Seattle’s traffic could be congested if you picked the wrong time to head out on the roads. The new West Seattle bridge hadn’t been built yet. That didn’t come until 1984. There was a smaller drawbridge that got heavy use every day.
There was lots of traffic that afternoon and I guess I was a little more than distracted. My life felt like there were a lot of loose ends unravelling. My mom had just passed away, I was in the process of a divorce, I needed to move, and finding reliable child care so I could work was an ongoing challenge. That afternoon I was going to pick her up, get us back home and fed before I would drop her off at child care, and then head out to the book store I was working at for the late afternoon and evening shift.
Getting onto the bridge from the left side of the road required looking over my right hand shoulder and then careful merging into a steady stream of traffic. I took my position behind a big sedan and swiveled my head to watch the flow of traffic. There was the gap. It was big enough to join. I put my foot on the accelerator, released the clutch, and started out. Within a second I had plowed right into the back of the sedan. Although I had been hit by another car before, I had never hit a car. Traffic behind us came to a stop. I got out of my car to see the damage. I hoped that the crash had not been hard enough to cause physical injury to the driver in front. I felt jittery and shaky.
The woman who I had just rear-ended got out, too. I told her I was so very very sorry. That it was all my fault. That I hoped she was ok. That I thought she had already merged into traffic. That I hoped her car wasn’t too damaged. That I was going through a divorce. That I was…
She stopped me right there and said, “I know how you feel. I’ve been through a divorce myself. You feel like a freight train has plowed right through you.”
I was crying by then. She looked at the damage to my car. The front trunk was caved in and the right hand fender was right up against the tire, but if it were bent outwards a bit the car would still be drivable. We looked at the back of her car. Nothing noticeable. She remarked that it was an old car, built like a tank, with plenty of bumps and scratches on it already.
“What’s one more?,” she said and gave me a hug. “You’ll be ok.”
We got into our cars and carefully merged into the traffic flow heading back to our separate lives. I have no idea who she was but I have always remembered her kindness to me.
Yesterday, I travelled to the big city for an errand. I was just going to slip in and out…right before rush hour on a Friday afternoon. Traveling south on I-5, the traffic was building by the minute, alternating between moving along moderately in one section, and sudden brake lights in another as cars inched along at a snail’s pace.
Without warning I felt a sharp jolt as my car moved forward without me doing anything. The parcel on the front passenger seat fell to the floor. The windshield wipers were swishing back and forth on the dry window. I had been rear ended. Once I remembered where the emergency blinkers were on the console, I turned them on and motioned to the driver in back of me to join me at the side of the road. I crossed over a lane of heavy traffic, parked, and got out of the car. The young woman who had hit me was out of her car by this time, too. I looked at the back of my car. I looked at the front of hers. I told her I didn’t see anything horrible.
She said, “but there’s a little damage here and…”, and pointed to my rear fiberglass bumper that now had a tiny crack. Honestly I would never have even seen it had she not pointed it out to me.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to contact the insurance company for this. It would raise your rates and probably cost thousands of dollars.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yup. Not to worry.”
And then I told her the story of what had happened to me 35 years earlier. I saw tears in her eyes and gave her a hug and said, “You’ll be ok. Maybe you’ll have the chance to do this for someone else someday.”
It is amazing to me how a little bit of kindness goes a long way….thank you.
I have always remembered that day so long ago and am so grateful that in both instances, everyone involved was ok.
This is a perfect example of how we never know what someone else is going through. Compassion is never wrong. No matter how right we may think we are. Hooray that you remember how you were treated. I bet that person who hit you is telling the story too. Love that.
So true. We never ever know what another’s life is like.
Paying kindness forward . This was so moving and a much needed reminder about how much goodness can come from “softening the blow” for others. Thank you Kate .
I love that image of “softening the blow”. Thank you for sharing it.
My mother had a similar experience many years ago. She was so gracious to the other driver, who was clearly at fault. I was 12 at the time and thought we should get something out of the deal. My mother encouraged me to always “take the high road,” and I’ve followed her advice since – both personally and professionally. When asked for an adjective to describe me, others consistently say “kind.” I would say that about you too, Kate, and am honored to be in your company.
Thank you so much Belinda. My parents were exceptionally kind, too. What is modeled for us when we are young really makes a difference.
Beautiful story..tears in my eyes..there is still some goodness in the world!❤️
Thank you Birdie. Let’s pray that there always will be.
What a lovely story. Especially during these challenging times, it is so nice to be reminded of all of the kindness around us.
And it comes when we least expect it and need it the most. Here’s a link to another time when I needed some, Lynne.
Priceless story… ahh the seeds of kindness how they grow…
Let’s pull the weeds out and keep planting kindness.
Beautiful story Kate! I so agree with Sandra that a little kindness can make a huge difference in someone’s day or life! ❤
And when we least expect. ❤
Such an uplifting story! Thank you, Kate. It reminded me of the accident I had a little time ago – completely my fault. I was moving to the side to get out of the way for a firetruck with it’s siren and lights going, and I literally didn’t see the car parked in the lane I was moving into. I heard this awful crunch and scrape that went on for days as I scraped the entire side of the other car! Only cosmetic damage to either car, but as the young woman got out of her car, I could see that she took great pride in the car. It was clean (not like my dirty old thing), in fact, it gleamed. Except for an ugly scrape all along the driver’s side. I asked if she was okay, and she was, and told her not to worry – my insurance would pay for the whole thing. It was completely my fault. Then I looked inside the car and saw that her grandmother and toddler were in the car, too. I shivered to think I could have hurt anyone in that car – such precious cargo! I was glad my husband and I have such good insurance – it didn’t cost us anything, and her car was completely restored. My premiums went up, but so they should – it was my fault. It’s supposed to cost me something! I was shaken by the fact that I really hadn’t even seen that car! But glad it didn’t cost anyone anything but money…
Oh my gosh. Life is the most precious cargo of all. Thank you for sharing your story, Julie.
So love this story. Thank you for sharing. As a woman in my retirement years, having come through a heck of an interesting life… one with monumental ups and downs and much of the time rearing children alone… I can relate. I hope that my journey has shown others the grace that you have exhibited. Good for you dear girl
Janeas- Have you ever thought about writing your stories down? We all have so much to share about lessons we have learned.
Kindness wins. It’s become my mantra. I even wear the “KIND” pin that Penzey’s spices has been giving out to its customers for free. Kindness wins….that’s the truth. Thank you for a lovely story that ends well. Blessings.
I have Penzey pin too and it’s my favorite! Yes, Kindness wins.
Love the story, Kate. It warmed my heart.
Thank you Gina. It’s the little things we do that can make such a difference.
This is so wonderful!!! What a great way to pay it forward!
Thanks Rosalie! Paying it forward is such an easy thing to do.
Wonderful story. Kindness is a wonderful trait. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank YOU for reading it, Margery.
What a beautiful story, I had tears in my eyes by the end of it!! I firmly believe that in life you get what you give – if only people were more aware of that!!
Did you manage to get your car fixed?
My old VW? Yup, I did. And I drove it for a few more years.
Dear Kate,
In April of 2015 my dear grandmother passed away, and then, six months later that same year … so did my mom.
Up until now my hearts’ been frozen in time, not really able to let go so that I can fully face the fact that they are gone.
As I read your story, it began to feel as if what you did for that girl somehow felt as if you’d reached out and sent me a hug too.
My god. It feels like a lifetime since I’ve allowed myself to feel anything other than fear and resentment since they’ve been gone … until now that is.
My mother would have loved your story Kate, and my grandmother, well, you’d have made her cry.
Me too.
Bless you and thank you, so, so much.
Nicole
Dearest Nicole- I am so deeply moved and honored that you wrote these words. If I could wing my way to you right now, wherever you are, I would knock on your door, give you a hug, and sit down for a mug of tea and good chat. K
We all have an opportunity to change a persons’ day. A small gesture, can seem monumental to someone. It’s call KINDESS. I had someone back into me. damaged my wheel well. I told her to go home. I wasn’t going to file a report or a claim. My garage guy looked at it and said, ‘no problem I can bang it out’ and he did, and didn’t charge me for the repair.
We sometimes don’t recognize the rewards for an act of Kindness but they are there. And we often don’t realize the magnitude and power of paying it forward.
You did good, Kate.
I love that random acts of kindness keep rolling on.
I too was fortunate to have been in a accident with a kind heart. The accident was my fault. As I shared my story, I say if you were to get in an accident, this young man was perfect person to be in one with! Enough damage was done that insurance had to come into play…but he was kind. It was about mid-night in Issaquah and we agreed to pull up to a 7-11 parking lot where there was plenty of light to exchange information. He even bought some snacks and offered them to me. So…we are grateful for those we encounter and remember their kindness and grace and hope like you did, that we’re able share that kindness and grace with others when they most likely need it the most.
What a kind young man!
What a sweet story. Brought tears to my eyes. It keeps my faith in humanity alive. Thank you!
Thank you for reading it. I believe that if we all try with just little things, our world will be a kinder and more gentle place.
I love this ❤️ Thank you for sharing Kate 💕
such a beautiful message. I will have to remember that if it happened to me. but **knock on wood** I hope it doesn’t.
I hope it doesn’t happen to you, too. Thanks for checking in and drive safe!