Kneading to Slow Down
I’m in the countdown to the deadline to turn in the manuscript for the second book. January 15th is just around the corner…it’s also my son’s birthday which seems an auspicious due date just as it was 31 years ago.
As far off as that seemed months ago, what I learned the first time around is, that due date truly is just around the corner. It reminds me of what it was like when I was carrying my children.
Oh nine months? Such a long time off. 😉
And then…there they were. Each of them making their debuts…whether I was ready or not.
Maybe this is premature labor and I’m having a writer’s version of Braxton Hicks contractions. Remember those?
Whatever it is, the last few days I’ve felt anxious.
The stereotypic descriptions of writers who need to get everything just so in order to write? I used to think…Right, what hogwash. If I ever rolled my eyes at any writer who said this, I hope they will all forgive me. I get it now.
Floor swept, dishes done, clothes washed and folded, bed made, desk tidied…the list goes on…and on. Then I sit down and write and edit and get lost in my work until I start to fidget. I lose my concentration. I get up. I walk around. I come up with excuses not to sit back down. The deadline. OMGosh, the deadline. It’s getting closer…and closer. What to do?
A centering practice for me, before I had to become gluten free, was bread making. Today, it was just the thing. I got out the flour (thank the goddess I can still work with it…knock on wood), the yeast, the sugar, the salt, water, and oil. I delighted in watching the bloom of the yeasty-beasties in my big crock bowl. I added flour until the dough would take no more. Then I turned that beautiful white lump on to the breadboard and kneaded. As soon as I started, I breathed a sigh, and then another. I slowed down. I kneaded to slow down.
Now it’s in the oven. The familiar smell of baking bread is filling my house and once again, I’m fine.